I took an exam today and I think I did well. The new Alex Chae, Alex Chae 2.0, does well on exams. He does not start studying the night before the exam. He studies the day before… lol.
So, I failed with Insanity and so I feel my love handles returning to me. I think I will start again in the summer where I have time and boredom to accompany me. This is Alex Chae 1.6
Alex Chae 2.0 reads. I’ve been reading C.S. Lewis, St. Augustine, Luther, Origen, Stephen Hawking, Stephen King, etc. I’ve been noticing that I’m actually ignorant, and I don’t really know anything. So… gotta read some more.
I’m really tired so this is pretty choppy. Alex Chae 1.2
Been listening to Jose Gonzalez more and more recently and man, he is brilliant. Utter genius. And now, my love for music has grown. I want to make music like this. And I want to write a book. But that is all in the future. Alex Chae 10.1 . So I have been practicing bit by bit, slowly incorporating vocal exercises into my daily routine, usually as I’m walking to and from school. Been song writing a bit. I finished a song with my friend Justin Hwang and I must say it is pretty dangitty dogitty good. I’ll try to get a recording later and share it here.
So apparently my friend, Deborah, has a friend who finds me very pleasing. Just found that out today. And I thought that it was funny. By no means can I be considered to be structurally well put-together or any of that good stuff. Seriously. I really believe God has made me shorter and tubbier and has given me many, many stages of awkwardness for one reason. To not be cocky. Knowing myself, if I felt better looking or more talented than other people, I would be the most cockiest son-of-a-b you would not have the pleasure of meeting. So now, even if someone finds me attractive, I really and honestly do not care (ok, maybe a little bit). Of course I care that someone holds some form of affection towards me, but I do not care that I may be “good-looking” in the eyes of the person. The more and more I learn about the world and of God, the more I start to not care about “worldly” things. They are important, obviously, but they are and will not be the very mode to my satisfaction in life. Things like money, beauty, physical appearance, status are all trivial in the grand scheme of things. And all of these things will disappear in life.
"From everlasting to everlasting, You are God" - one of the Psalms somewhere.
So, I think it’s funny how a girl finds me attractive, now of all times. Now, when I am starting to not care for the approval of the world. And when I am starting to really choose God over everything. You have to understand, I have not even heard a peep from anyone in a long time. The last time was Gina when I found out that she liked me, and then she rejected me 3 times lol! Anyways, in conclusion… thank you God.
Also, before I am capable of loving others, I must first love God. Amen. Hallelujah. God is good.
Alex Chae 2.0 signing out.